Category: Blog
Clearing Out the Clutter in Your Intimate Relationship
We often think of Spring as a time to roll up our sleeves and do some deep cleaning. Imagine clearing out the clutter in your relationship: the anger, resentment, disappointment, regret, jealousy, etc. Would your relationship feel lighter and more alive? When we attempt to address issues in our relationship that are negatively charged, we [...]
Read moreAffair-Proof Your Intimate Relationship
Pat Love, the noted sex and relationship expert and co-author of Hot Monogamy and The Truth About Love has created a quiz that will help you determine if your intimate relationship is in jeopardy if infidelity. It seems an important question to ask when you consider that 55 percent of married women and 65 percent [...]
Read moreObtaining Forgiveness; Making an Effective Apology
I love to listen to National Public Radio. On July 15, I heard The Diane Rehm Show discussing Critical Components of An Effective Apology and I thought it was worth sharing. Learning to make an effective apology is something I think couples, parents and individuals alike can benefit from as we are all human and [...]
Read moreApproaching Change Through Appreciative Inquiry
So often, we approach change from the standpoint of looking at what’s wrong; we focus on the problem. The children fight too much, our boss doesn’t seem to notice or appreciate how hard we’re working, our relationship isn’t what it used to be, etc. By focusing on problems, we find more of them; we emphasize [...]
Read moreThe Power of a Fully Expressed Appreciation
Have you ever been flooded by a sense of appreciation for your partner? Maybe it was something they did for you or it was a way in which they were with you that touched you and made you feel a gush of love for them. Did you tell them with a simple “Thanks,” or did [...]
Read moreThe Language of Love
Have you ever done something for your partner and felt that the effort fell flat and went unnoticed? We do things for our partner as an expression of our love for them. Often, those expressions lack impact or go unnoticed because they are not expressions of love that speak to our partner; they are expressions [...]
Read moreAnnual Review Dialogue
An Ideal Way to Spend New Year’s Eve Sit quietly with your partner and share the following Dialogue with Mirroring, Validation and Empathy: 1a. How did I add to your life this past year? 1b. How would you like me to add to your life in the coming year? 2a. What helped you feel loved [...]
Read moreThe Platinum Rule of Gift Giving
‘Tis the season for giving! You remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Well, it has just been upgraded to the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” If you are a gift-giving person during the holidays, this is a rule [...]
Read moreThe Importance of Validation
I had a big learning at the Imago conference this year. Something I thought I’d learned some time ago, so maybe this was another layer of learning. People want, and maybe even need, to feel validated at the place where they are right now, and that this is a necessary step in the change/growth process. Change is [...]
Read moreEnergy Follows Intention
On my website, I have posted a link to a FREE list of suggestions that, when followed, will improve your intimate, committed relationship, guaranteed! This is based on the notion that couples often notice a slight improvement in their relationship between the time they make a call to set an appointment with a marriage therapist [...]
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